Class reunion

And I was doing so well posting consistently over the past two months.  I think I went into a sort of hibernation mentally and physically once I got home from work each day.  This weather is killin me.  

Anyhow, onward.  

I know not all of my readers are my age.  Which I'm reminded of with observations like: "Ha!  You ain't seen nothin yet!", "Just wait, Matt!  Just wait!" and "It's only begun."  All in reference to the fact that, yes we only have one child who is two; therefore I have a grand total of two years of being a dad under my belt.  I'm a newbie, a softy and ignorant mass of daddy-ness.  

That all being said, I'm going to write about high school, which, for me was almost 15 years ago.  I know!  I know!  You've been out 25 years, or 20, or 30 . . . I get it, I'm young.

This past weekend we got together with a friend I graduated high-school with and his family.  His wife went to the same high-school, they were "sweet hearts", so my wife was the odd Ohioan out, but that didn't matter one bit.  It was a nice evening with fellow parents, they have a 2 and a half year old and are expecting.  

The most surreal moment came with the thought that 15 years ago, my friend and I would have been at band practice or at lunch together.  Now here we stood, having beers and watching our sons play together.  Worries weren't about upcoming tests, but about our kids falling and, yep, potty training.    

We had plenty of laughs, parent talk, high-school talk about classmates, it was nostalgic and comfortable.  It was comfortable in the fact that while we may have changed in some ways over the years, we realized the roots of our friendship were still there.  It's something I'm sure most of us fear; running into an old friend and realizing enough has changed in either one or both of you to make it uncomfortable.  So maybe we lucked out or maybe we came full circle.  

And yes, it all "made us feel old".  

Frozen

Well folks, I think I'll go and place the blame for the lack of a new blog post in several days on the weather.  Why not?  I thought I'd crank out several posts as the snow blew, ice formed and temperatures plummeted.  Instead, I hunkered down with my new Roku, the wife and kid and zoned out into a pseudo-hibernation mode.  The cold was not good motivation.  

Look for a new post soon as the weekend is here and more snow is due!

Look to the chimps!

Something that has become an absolute favorite, pretty much daily, occurrence of mine is when Ben says things like, "See Daddy?  See?!  Geese, over there!" and "No, over there!  There."  

I think it's the idea of a two year old giving instructions to his dad who is 30 years his senior that is both cute and something to be proud of.  Pride in the fact that he's absorbed something, thought about it and wants to insure I "get it" too.  He sees something he likes and wants to share the excitement.  That something could be an animal, a song, a train or simply that the snowman decoration out front fell over and needs help - "Daddy, snowman fell over!  Help him!".   Of course, from my last post, going "pee-pee" is also an exciting event to share.     

I'd like to think this sort of thing has firm roots in the manner in which my wife and I have been striving to teach him.  While technology is that ever-present, ever-growing elephant in the room, in the home and wherever we go, there are so many other means for Ben to be exposed to and learn from.  I know I've brought this up before in passing via a previous post (See "Fear itself") but figured I'd bring it up again and expand on it a bit. 

The habits of my wife and I, and our daily routines, already put technology in the equation of raising our little man; watching TV, using computers, cell phones, etc.  It would be hypocritical, a disservice even, to deny these things exist in the world we live in and deny Ben access to them.  I can see, even if my wife and I didn't really talk it over thoroughly, that we both prefer him to learn primarily by doing, interacting, talking, playing, tasting, etc. etc. whenever possible.  The tactile means of understanding the world. It seems logical to me, a very primal, natural approach. 

No, I'm not getting "all hippie" on you!

I'd be willing to bet most people reading this have seen some sort of documentary or even read about chimps and/or gorillas and how they learn, act and communicate.  (Now the title of this post begins to make sense!  Right?)  They don't have technology to turn to to help explain why it would be a bad idea to eat a certain plant or touch a certain insect, they have their surroundings and their instincts.  If they can't learn from them, they'll learn by making a mistake. Though I wonder what they'd Google.  "Most effective way to hurl poo in self defense"; "Why do humans stare at me, chimp", "Single, hairy male, looking for . . .".  OK, I'm done.

 

 

I sincerely believe we can learn a lot from them, other animals and "the good old days"; I'm talking pre-TV at least, but further back has some valuable lessons and skills that can be valuable in raising our children.  Not only can it be a benefit in becoming that "well-rounded" individual, but also capable, functioning members of society.  While we're at it, if we're looking to teach our children this way, leading by example is a powerful booster. 

 

My wife is wonderful at this, taking Ben on walks in the neighborhood, going outside to look at the full moon, looking and listening for birds . . . wow, that all does sound a little hippie.  Well, whatever you may title it, maybe it's what we all need to keep in mind as we walk our children into and through this crazy world.       

 

Number 1

I don't get very good cell reception where my office is at work.  So when I hear the short melody telling me "You got a text (or voicemail)!", it could be an hour or so after it was actually sent.  

The roads got fairly icey Friday morning.  I made it in just before it hit, my wife and Ben left a good bit after me, right in the middle of the freezing rain.  Of course, I had that worry of them making it safely to Daycare and work.  When I heard the ring tone, I wasn't sure what to expect to see or hear.  

It was a voicemail, beginning with a muffled noise then: "Tell Daddy what you did, go ahead".  A distant, tiny voice I couldn't understand.  Then my wife's voice "He went potty Daddy!" Repeated by that tiny voice, "Potty Daddy! Potty!".  

I chuckled to myself in relief, never thinking a phone call about someone going to the bathroom would be comforting and/or exciting, or really anything other than too much information; see: in college, from a drunk friend, at 3am.  

But for Ben (and for Mommy and Daddy), this is a big deal.  Mommy is totally ready to get Ben into "big boy undies!".  Though I'm not so sure Ben nor I are ready for only a think layer of cotton protection.  At any rate, time to celebrate successes.  For Ben this means a few M&Ms.

Manly men, doing manly things

If you haven't yet, take a peek at my "Links to look at", to the right.  You'll find "The Art of Manliness".  My first reaction was to not give it too much thought or consideration, mostly due to the site title.  I presumed it would be one of those sort of sites that makes sure the men of today stay as manly as possible, while also helping to assure that there are manly men for years to come.  A site full of links to fantasy football, ESPN, ESPN2, UnderArmor, NIKE, AXE, Play Boy, etc. you get the idea.    

I'll admit, I was dead wrong in my presumption, ending up finding a site I enjoy visiting and have been following on social media.  The tag line says it all: "Reviving the Lost Art of Manliness".  The site drips of "manly things", with a spattering of "hipster-ness".  The articles are put into categories pertaining to wide variety of topics such as:  "Dress and Grooming" and "A Man's Life".  

I really enjoy the combination of hearkening back to "the good old days" with "being a man today".  As you know, I'm a history dork, so the fact that there is a series of articles just on "How to Shave Like Your Grandpa", yeah, that was enough to pull me in!  

But to look at what truly "reviving" this art of being a man means, many articles urge us to simply stop trying to reinvent the wheels that the men of the past built, experimented with and rode on.  Avoid falling into certain modern trends or abandon them entirely in order to make yourself happier, look better, cook better, etc.  A great example, is in the aforementioned article on shaving:  how using a double-edge razor can save you money while giving you a great shave.  It's plain and simple "how-to" and even "where-to" get supplies you'll need.  

I'm curious, as Ben gets older, what he'll perceive "being a man" and manly, is about, how to achieve it and ultimately how to project it.  Of course, my goal is to direct him all the way, as best I can, without smothering him in "do this, this way, all the time".  He will have to be his own man, in the end.  

My next post will go into the life's incidents, experiences and people who influenced my perception of what being a man is as I grew up and what I'd like to get across to my son.  I think it will be a good exercise for me and might be a good read for you!