A comedian, I think it was Louis CK, once said in his act something like, "Taking care of a toddler is like trying to prevent someone from committing suicide over and over again."
When you are alone with a high-energy toddler in a house, the air pulsates with the fear that if you were to turn your back for one second they would be putting something easily choked on in their mouths, climbing on top of the coffee table and getting tangled in their own legs, promptly dropping to the floor and/or bopping their head on the corner of something on the way down. Let me rephrase it: Whether you turn your back or not, there a good chance these things will happen.
And there you will be to yank the "chokeable" items out of the mouth and dive across any obstacle (or cat) to catch our precious babes as they nose-dive off ottomans. There will also be those times when you think they put something in their mouths. "Spit it out! spit it out!" you'll mutter, over and over while attempting to pry open a tiny mouth full of tiny teeth. Then you spot the marble on the floor, sigh a relief, pat the kid on the bum and send him on his way. Another one saved!
This parental fear of the worse-case-scenario spills over into every aspect of our lives:
Driving with the kid in the car - Everyone out to sideswipe you, every else is driving too fast, no one follows the correct protocol for 4 way stops. Imagine me driving Ben to the hospital the other night in the snow. Yeeeeep.
Sleeping, yes sleeping - Are they breathing?! The first night the kid actually sleeps through the night especially. God I hope "Snuggles the bear" doesn't fall on top of his face!
Eating - You watch eat morsel go in, get chewed and swallowed. This one actually holds water. Ben can cram way too much in his mouth and make a muffled request of "more!" when there is no room for more, but he'd try if we gave it to him. Oh and: did he get enough to eat?!
Our words and actions- I know I've said this one before in terms of setting a bad example. Did . . . did he hear me say that? One slip up could mean he says it at daycare and gets kicked out! Nooo!
I believe I mentioned in previous post that "blind ignorance" that little kids have. What we're all born with and which we loose as we learn and grow (but some hold onto for a looooong time). Ben flat out did not know rolling around on the sofa might not be a great idea until he fell off of it. How could he know? He's never done it before. When I'm laying on the floor and he flops onto my stomach, promptly rolling up onto my head, he doesn't know that the glasses on my face are something I need to see. He's having fun with dad damn it!
Ok this does sound like a bash at the paranoia that comes with being a good parent; because any good parent would be caring and mindful of their child's needs and potential hazards. But is there a limit? Ya know, going too far?
Consider this: A sharp contrast to how we modern-day American parents attend to our children is a tribe, I think in Africa,(I hate siting something and not having a link to the original article, I'll find it!) in which most individuals have scars from having been burned at a young age. No, not self-inflicted or the victims of abuse. When they were very young they walked into the fire or touched hot coals. Why did their parents not stop them? The answer: How else would they know that fire is hot and can burn you? How else would they know what "burn" truly means? Learning by doing.
Again, a sharp contrast, an extreme opposite to how we look at parenting and the normal limits we set as they discover their world and themselves. It's a question I know my wife and I ask ourselves no matter what it might be; how much TV to watch, when to let Ben eat sweets and how much, etc. etc.
We parents also have an ignorance that comes about as soon as the newborn comes into our world. Sure we have books, classes and websites to help stave it off to help ease us into this new chapter of our lives. As with many things in life, it's not until you've been surrounded by it and experienced it that you not only better understand it but can relish in it.
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